I had searched for months after my high school graduation and finally settled on a college towards the end of the summer. I applied. I visited. I was ready to enroll. Despite the fact that it was a 15 hour drive from home, I felt like it was the perfect college for me, exactly what I was looking for.
Several weeks later, however, God opened up another college opportunity. Now I had a big decision to make: I could either choose to attend the college that my heart was set on, or I could pick the college that was I knew was a wiser choice (as far as distance and finances were concerned). The choice was mine to make. After much prayer and discussion with my family over my decision, I decided to give up my dream college and trust that God would not disappoint me for making a decision I felt best aligned with his will.
But I'll be honest—it was a tough decision that initially left me desperately disappointed. I felt like I was giving up the greatest thing in the world and that I'd never fully be satisfied with the decision I was making. (Since then God has showed me how my school fits my needs better than I could have ever imagined, and I can now say that I love my school. He is indeed faithful!)
However, I have discovered that life is full of disappointments. College, friendships, jobs, injuries, relationships, family, illnesses—there are just so many things that never work out like we want them to. "Disappointment" is a reoccurring word in my journal; I've had to deal with it often. And I hate it. It hurts, and it never makes sense.
Yet through it all, disappointment shows me how much more I need to cling to Jesus. He is the one thing that will never disappoint. Instead of wallowing in the unfairness of my dashed dreams or failed expectations, I need to let disappointments drive me to Jesus. Maybe I've been treasuring something too dearly; maybe it's God's way of bringing my attention back to him. Regardless of the circumstances, God is showing me (often very painfully) that Jesus is worth more than every disappointment life could bring my way.
Counting everything as loss for Christ's sake isn't easy, but it is worth it. He will never disappoint.
Praying for you! Thanks for being honest and being real in your writing...its an encouragement! Gods got such amazing things in store for you Chloe! :)
ReplyDeleteLisie
I went through this same thing too! I gave up the dream of a prestigious state school for a small baptist collage in the middle of nowhere…but if I hadn't gone, I wouldn't have met my husband! You never know what God's purposes are behind everything!
ReplyDeleteI'm right there with you. I had my heart set on one college, but God had other plans and pointed me in the direction of His better college for me (both distance wise and financially). I am encouraged to see you trusting God through the disappointments. :)
ReplyDeleteI know this is a month later, but this is very encouraging to hear about the journey God has sent you on to reach OKWU. I love that God is to say the least surprising. We shouldn't be surprised by His faithfulness and love, but it never fails He always shocks me when He reveals things about His plan. Keep working hard and following Christ in obedience.
ReplyDeleteBrandon
Choosing a school and making future plans has been really hard for me too so I totally understand. I love your blog!
ReplyDeletewww.radiant-joy.blogspot.com