Today I Am 9...

Nine years old as Your child. Nine years ago today I was brought to my knees in realization of my sinfulness and Your holiness and grace. Because of Your great love for me, I stand here today, forgiven. I don't even want to imagine where I would be right now without Your sacrifice! I don't think I can ever grasp the full extent of Jesus' sacrifice. For me. Never in a million years could I deserve it! Yet He came and died in my place, took my shame, and has now given me new life! I am a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come! (2 Cor 5:17) Thanks be to God for His indescribable gift! (2 Cor 9:15)

As I think back over the years, I can't help but be overwhelmed by Your faithfulness. You were with me through it all, You never failed...even when I did. Your mercies never came to an end, they were new every morning. Great is Your faithfulness! (Lam 3:22-24)

So, I am nine years old. But I'm still constantly struggling, God. Sometimes I get distracted. My sin gets in the way. I think I can do this on my own. But I can't. After growing in You for nine years, I feel like I should have learned this by now. Thank you for Your unending grace that picks me up each time I fall!

God, I don't want anything to come between our relationship. I want every day to be a new opportunity to deepen my love for You and continually seek Your face. In Your presence is fullness of joy! (Ps 16:11) I pray that You will become my the love of my life, my number one priority, and my sole satisfaction. Remind me every day of how unworthy I am. Instead of people noticing me, may they only see You. You must increase, I must decrease. (John 3:30) May my boasting be in You alone (2 Cor 10:17) because it is only You who can do anything great with me.

In Christ alone will I glory
Though I could pride myself in battles won
For I’ve been blessed beyond measure
And by His strength alone I’ll overcome
Oh, I could stop and count successes like diamonds in my hands
But those trophies could not equal to the grace by which I stand

In Christ alone
I place my trust
And find my glory in the power of the cross
In every victory
Let it be said of me
My source of strength
My source of hope
Is Christ alone

- From "In Christ Alone" by Brian Littrell

Year after year, Your grace is sufficient - and it still amazes me. Somehow, in Your sovereign plan, You chose me and are growing me and molding me to become more like You. Take me and use me; I am Yours. My deepest desire is to be used by You, for Your glory. I know that You will, as long as I am fully surrendered to You. As I surrendered my life to You for the first time nine years ago, so I surrender my life anew to You now. I have decided to follow Jesus.

No turning back.

And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ. - Philippians 1:6

Another Page in My Life

O LORD, You have searched me and known me. You know my sitting down and my rising up; you understand my thought afar off. You comprehend my path and my lying down, and are acquainted with all my ways. For there is not a word on my tongue, but behold, O LORD, You know it altogether. You have hedged me behind and before, and laid Your hand upon me. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me; it is high, I cannot attain it.

For You formed my inward parts; you covered me in my mother’s womb. I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; marvelous are Your works, and that my soul knows very well. My frame was not hidden from You, when I was made in secret, and skillfully wrought in the lowest parts of the earth.

How precious also are Your thoughts to me, O God! How great is the sum of them! If I should count them, they would be more in number than the sand; when I awake, I am still with You.

Search me, O God, and know my heart; try me, and know my anxieties; and see if there is any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.

(Psalm 139:1-6, 13-15, 17-18, 23-24)


Today, November 23, another page was turned. A page in the story of my life - of whom God is the Author. Right now, this new page is nearly blank; but with each passing day, more words will begin to fill the page. And with each day, as every detail is becoming clearer and clearer, I pray I am becoming closer and closer to my Creator. The previous pages are reminders of how fast time goes by and how little I have left. Those pages are reminders to keep pressing on and to make my life count (only by living as unto to the Lord, and not unto men). I do not know the end of this story, nor how near or far away it is. But the Author does. And I pray that He will be my only source of strength and guidance through the many conflicts that will come my way - and there will be many. Each year of my life brings a new page. Each new page brings me closer to the finish. May this page reflect Christ in every aspect. Page number 16.