of bank accounts and (probably) nonsensical ponderings

You know those incredible experiences that grow you and change you, yet at the end of it all, you're left with more questions than answers? I do.

I've been reflecting on the last several months of my life. Although I didn't realize it then, I can see that God has done SO much in the last year. I've changed. I'm not the same person I was 12 months ago. Yet, in spite of all the life-changing experiences I've encountered, I don't have any more answers. In fact, I may even have more questions than I began with.

I'm left with new perspectives, new ideas, new options, new possibilities, and new opinions. I've grown, but everything is even more uncertain than it was before. When the door is thrown open to endless possibilities, the daunting task of making a choice becomes even heavier.

In the midst of my indecisive feelings and ever-growing questions, I have somehow managed to hold on to peace. Peace that comes from God. Peace that surpasses all understanding.... even my own understanding! I should seriously be freaking out right now. But I can have peace because I've given my anxiety over to the Lord.

Why am I worrying over the future, as uncertain as it may be, when I have no control over it whatsoever?

That's right, I don't have any idea either. I serve a God who never takes risks. At all. Therefore, I can afford to take risks. I can risk because God never does.

I have gained so much these last few months.... from people, from God's Word, from life experiences. And while I may be left with more questions, I have been prepared to face these questions in light of God's sovereignty. I have so many questions. But I feel prepared. I'm ready to face the future. Because God is sovereign.

Like a bank account, I have been filled up. Each new piece of knowledge, each new step with God, and each new relationship made has been a deposit into my "bank account." The more I seek God and equip myself for His service, the more deposits I make.

But....

Money in a bank doesn't do any good if it's just left in there. Neither are my "deposits" of any benefit if I don't eventually "withdraw" them.

Serve. Influence. Encourage. Challenge. Comfort. I must used what I've gained and put it into action, pouring into others' lives what has been poured into mine. I want my life to have a healthy, balanced cycle of "deposits" and "withdrawals."

This is what God requires of me. Sure, I don't know all the details, but I have a God who does. There's a whole lot of unanswered questions, but it's all the more opportunity for God to show Himself great in my life. If I'm faithful in the small things, God will show Himself great in ALL things.

.

To Make God Smile

There is just way too much to do in life! The problem is, I can't do it all and so I actually have to make a choice! Decisions. Options. Details. Preferences. Alternatives. Selections. Possibilities.

One life.

From my point of view, some of these choices (like jobs, collages, majors, cars, classes, when, and where) seem so pivotal. I feel like the whole future of my life depends on my decision.

Fortunately, God has a different view. He sees reality, the way things really are. The reality is, God has a plan for my life... even to the end. Because He's sovereign, God has my life under control. My choices won't be a surprise to Him.

I know this is true, but in the midst of life's craziness it's often hard to believe. Sometimes, I start believing the lie that I actually plan my life. Although I do have choices, and although my choices do effect my life, I'm not the one who directs it. I'm tired of worrying over the future, so I'm giving it over to the One who has it in His hands anyway. I will seek Him for every decision, and I will trust Him.

God delights in being trusted. Want to make God smile? Then trust Him. Trust Him with everything. Trust Him with your life. I can't see the road ahead and I still don't know what all of my decisions will be. But I'll leave the answer to God. After all, He's written all of history - I'm sure He can write my life.

A man's heart plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps.

Proverbs 16:9

God's Peace.... A Guard?

In a humanities class I'm taking, we recently finished studying Philippians. Have you all ever studied that book in depth? Man, it's packed with spiritual nuggets of wisdom! =)

I'm sure you have heard these verses before, right?

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."
Philippians 4:6-7

When I read that, I usually think something along the lines of, "Okay, so God doesn't want us to worry about our troubles, but instead pray, and then He will give us His peace." However, when I read it this time, something totally new stuck out to me. Read the verses again. (Seriously.) Now what do you think it means when Paul says that God's peace will "guard your hearts and minds"? This is the question I asked myself. I mean, I've never really thought about peace...guarding. So what does it mean?

As I kept reading these verses with that question in my mind, the Holy Spirit taught me something totally new to me. (Aren't those moments just so amazing???) God's peace guards us from focusing on ourselves. 

I don't know about you, but I'm a worrier. If something can go wrong, then I'll be thinking about it. And especially if something does go wrong, then I'm definitely worried! However, when I am worrying, I'm focusing on my problems, my troubles, my embarrassment, situations in my life that might go wrong.

Do you see the problem here? I'm not focusing on God, who is in control of my life - and nothing happens outside of His plan. God's peace guards me from focusing on myself. Instead, I'm placing my life in His hands and leaving it there. His peace keeps me focused on HIM: who He is, what He has done, and what I know He is going to do. God's plan is perfect, and I know I don't have to worry about anything. That's how God's peace is a guard.

Are you a worrier? Then cast your cares upon the Lord, and ask Him to give you His peace - it surpasses all understanding! Keep your focus on God, 'cause He will never let you down.