just. do. something.

I feel so liberated right now. Set free. Released. (You get the picture.) All because my perspective was changed by a short, little book....

All throughout this senior year of mine, phrases like "waiting on the Lord" and "the will of God" have seemed to repeatedly keep popping up. Chances are, they've popped up in your life every now and then as well. As soon as things become a little uncertain, that's when "God's will" becomes ever so important to us. And, boy, have I been uncertain a lot lately!

With so many "life-altering" decisions coming up (i.e. college), I wanted to be certain that I was making the right choices. I knew God had a plan for me, but I didn't know what it was. Many days were spent pleading with God to show me His will and stressing over decisions. After months and months, I still didn't have an answer. Why was nothing clearer? Didn't God want me to make the right choice?

And then everything changed.

No, I didn't get a sign from God. No, He didn't reveal His entire will to me. But I discovered that I was in bondage to the idea that I had to find "God's will" for every decision in life. I was held back by the fear that I would make the wrong decision. I was looking for clear, distinct, unmistakable direction for my life; but that's not always how God leads.

Let me just cut to the chase: I read this really awesome book called Just Do Something by Kevin DeYoung that totally changed my perspective on making decisions and seeking God's will. Trust me, this book is liberating. Because my attempted explanations to describe this liberating approach to finding God's will could never do this book justice, you will just have to read the book yourself.

I discovered that God's way is not to tell us every detail of our lives ahead of time. God's way is to grow our faith by having us constantly rely on Him. God's will happens not when we "let go and let God," but as we trust God and get going! Honestly and truly, this is one of the best (and most needed) books I have read. This is a book I will be recommending to all of my friends!

Final thoughts? JUST DO SOMETHING. And read this book.

"Trust God and do the next thing" -- Oswald Chambers

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of bank accounts and (probably) nonsensical ponderings

You know those incredible experiences that grow you and change you, yet at the end of it all, you're left with more questions than answers? I do.

I've been reflecting on the last several months of my life. Although I didn't realize it then, I can see that God has done SO much in the last year. I've changed. I'm not the same person I was 12 months ago. Yet, in spite of all the life-changing experiences I've encountered, I don't have any more answers. In fact, I may even have more questions than I began with.

I'm left with new perspectives, new ideas, new options, new possibilities, and new opinions. I've grown, but everything is even more uncertain than it was before. When the door is thrown open to endless possibilities, the daunting task of making a choice becomes even heavier.

In the midst of my indecisive feelings and ever-growing questions, I have somehow managed to hold on to peace. Peace that comes from God. Peace that surpasses all understanding.... even my own understanding! I should seriously be freaking out right now. But I can have peace because I've given my anxiety over to the Lord.

Why am I worrying over the future, as uncertain as it may be, when I have no control over it whatsoever?

That's right, I don't have any idea either. I serve a God who never takes risks. At all. Therefore, I can afford to take risks. I can risk because God never does.

I have gained so much these last few months.... from people, from God's Word, from life experiences. And while I may be left with more questions, I have been prepared to face these questions in light of God's sovereignty. I have so many questions. But I feel prepared. I'm ready to face the future. Because God is sovereign.

Like a bank account, I have been filled up. Each new piece of knowledge, each new step with God, and each new relationship made has been a deposit into my "bank account." The more I seek God and equip myself for His service, the more deposits I make.

But....

Money in a bank doesn't do any good if it's just left in there. Neither are my "deposits" of any benefit if I don't eventually "withdraw" them.

Serve. Influence. Encourage. Challenge. Comfort. I must used what I've gained and put it into action, pouring into others' lives what has been poured into mine. I want my life to have a healthy, balanced cycle of "deposits" and "withdrawals."

This is what God requires of me. Sure, I don't know all the details, but I have a God who does. There's a whole lot of unanswered questions, but it's all the more opportunity for God to show Himself great in my life. If I'm faithful in the small things, God will show Himself great in ALL things.

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even when i'm weary

One word: weary. That's how I feel right now. 

For the entire past six months, I have spent my time filling out more college applications than you would believe. Yeah, tons. With each new college I would come to, I would always think, maybe this is the one, and picture myself spending the next four years on the beautiful campus.

Well, I haven't found one yet.

After months and months of searching and hoping, I'm kind of burned out. It's not that I'm tired of filling out applications; it's that I'm tired of not knowing. This next huge season of my life is looming ahead of me, and I have no idea where I'll be spending it. 

I am a planner. And planners like to know things in advance. That's the problem. I don't know anything in advance right now. Everything is so uncertain, sometimes I feel like I'm going crazy inside.

And now I've exhausted myself.... because I kept trying to create a path that wasn't meant to be there. I kept trying to make everything to line up perfectly so that my life destination would be crystal clear. And while I kept trying to plan my own way, God kept directing my steps elsewhere.

After all of this searching, then planning, then burning out, I've noticed something odd about myself. Now that my efforts to figure out my future have failed, I've started spending my time on things that I don't really want to spend my time on. I'm struggling with priorities and productivity. It's almost as if since I can't know my future, then I turn to distractions in life to keep my mind off the fact that I still don't know. These distractions keep me from thinking about the uncertainties I've failed to resolve. I've gone from trying to do everything, to doing almost nothing at all.

Deep down inside, I think I've excused myself, saying that I'm simply trusting God and leaving the outcome up to Him. I tried and failed to do it myself, so I'm done. If God has a plan for my future, then it's up to Him now to bring it along.

Of course, it's absolutely true that God has a plan for me, that nothing in my life happens outside of His sovereignty. (We ALL know that.) However, I don't think that's an excuse for not doing anything. 

The Christian life isn't a passive game.

It's a battle.

And as soon as I realize that God's sovereignty is no excuse for resignation, I will begin to see that God's plan is so much bigger than the next four years of my life. In the span of eternity, my college decision is marginal. God's purpose in my life isn't that I find the ultimate university, it's that His name be magnified in my life.

I'm in a full-fledged battle, and God expects me to fight. There is victory in Christ alone, but it's my responsibility to engage in the war. Day by day, I must lay down my life, pick up my cross, and follow Christ. Even if I can't see where He's leading me.

Even when I'm weary.

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So He Can be Gracious...

Give Him time to do great things. The greater work He plans, the greater the prayer preparation that may be necessary, including prayer for guidence. God often waits so that He can be even more gracious.

~ Wesley L. Duewel

The Point of Waiting

Swamped. That's what I've been. Constantly searching for scholarships, writing essays, and trying to squeeze in some school. I feel so bad that I haven't been able to comment on any one's blogs lately... but I've just been so busy. But you all know what that's like, right?

As I am in this season of "waiting" in my life, I thought it appropriate to share this poem. Read it. It's amazing.

What's the Point?

By Josiah Schwartz

The point in waiting is
to enjoy
To love and worship God
In act of your life

Including the waiting.

And in the waiting
Remember His nature
That He is the Giver of every perfect gift
That He desires to lavish on you with such treasures
Treasures that are worth the wait
Solely because He is in them.

Rest in this:
He is going to give you
Exactly what you need
At exactly the time you need it.
That is reason to smile.
That is reason to breathe easy
And rest in Him.

Let go of "when" and "if"
Because His ways
Are so much higher than yours.
His thoughts
Beyond what you could ever fathom
Because He loves you.
Oh, how He loves you.
And that is the point
of your entire existence
To experience His presence
His love
Inside every moment.

Especially in the waiting.

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Waiting for a Sign...

Our culture seems to expect young people to have their life planned out by the time they graduate high school. Once the senior year rolls around -- and even before -- the reoccurring questions seem to be, "What college are you going to?" "What do you want to major in?" "What are your future plans?" With all of the huge, significant choices that life brings, it's easy to get overwhelmed with the fear of making the wrong choice.

Lately, I've found myself wondering, how do I know what God wants me to do? What if I chose the wrong thing? I just wish I could know God's will for my life! When I, or most other people, talk about the "will of God," I think they're usually looking for a specific sign from God, or an "open door" for God's specific plan for their future. In Scripture, however, God doesn't often reveal a person's life plan to them in advance. Abraham, for example, left everything he knew to follow God... without knowing anything about his future.

So here's the thing about the will of God: you can't always know it.

For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the LORD (Isaiah 55:8).

I think some of us have this notion that we can "mess up" God's plan. We become paralyzed with the questions and decisions of life. The fear of making a wrong choice keeps us from committing to anything. So we sit. And wait. We want a specific answer from God before we move forward.But when I don't know God's will, how do I know what direction I should take? Maybe the question isn't What is the will of God? but rather What should I be doing right now so that God can lead me? Instead of waiting for a "sign," I should be moving forward. Stepping out.

God may not verbally reveal His plan, but He sure does guide. Take the time to read Proverbs 3:5-6 (and really read it): Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths. If we trust in God's sovereignty, He promises to direct our paths. But God can't direct our paths if we aren't moving forward.

It's okay not to know the future. Although God doesn't always give us our life story in advance, He does require us to step out in faith and move forward in confidence. So do something. Develop your skills and talents. Pursue your interests. Look into all of your options. You may find something that God wants you to continue doing.... Or, He may shut the door in your face. But either way, don't just stand around doing nothing.

Instead on focusing on the great unknown future, find a way to follow God now. God is sovereign. You can't mess up His plan. Move forward and trust that He will lead you exactly where you need to be.

I will move ahead, bold and confident

Takeing every step in obedience

While I'm waiting

I will serve You

While I'm waiting

I will worship

While I'm waiting

I will not faint

I'll be running the race

Even while I wait

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